Because being a parent is hard enough

I've been noticing a trend lately. Maybe it's not a new trend, I've just really noticed lately.  I feel like there's a whole lot of judgment on everything a parent does or everyway a child acts. Everyone has an opinion for how much tv a child should be allowed to watch and what they should eat and everything else that moms have to contend with everyday. 

We have a lot to deal with when we run a home.  Between work, studying for spelling tests, making dinner, cleaning the house, doing laundry, and everything else it takes to just make it through one day, our lives are hard enough.  And we need all the support we can get.  That support should come from each other. 

Want to know the truth? Sometimes my kids watch tv. For hours maybe.  Sometimes it's an few animal shows we watch as a family, sometimes it's cartoons when they wake up at the crack of dawn on Saturday mornings. I think that's ok.  If you don't, then by all means, have different rules in your family. We need to let go of the idea that doing things differently equals thinking everyone else does it wrong. We think the way we do it is best, (which makes sense, that's why we do it that way) and assume anyone who doesn't is judging our parenting skills. So sometimes we lash out. 

I think we need to reverse this! Let's turn it around!! Other moms should be our first defenders, not our first critics.  Let's give each other the benefit of the doubt.  No one knows what it's like in anyone else's home.  That kid that you think shouldn't have a pacifier at her age? You have no idea if the last six months of her life have been unsettled and difficult.  The one who throws himself in the floor of the grocery store may be autistic and having trouble dealing with all the stimuli around him.  The mom sitting on the park bench playing on her phone while her kids run just may be doing it all alone and need a few minutes break to keep her sanity.  We don't know. What we do know is how hard it is.  We all know the feeling of having no idea how to handle a situation.  We know how it feels to yell and then feel awful. We know how it feels to be overwhelmed by something that seems like no big deal to other people.  We know how tired we are at the end of some nights, when we are still folding laundry and checking homework with dishes in the sink long after everyone else is in bed.  We also know what it feels like to love these little humans with our whole heart, and to worry that the world is not being fair or kind to them.

So here's my new motto: I have your back.  All of you.  You won't see any judgmental posts on facebook from me. I will not roll my eyes when I see a child having a meltdown in a restaurant.  I will always assume that other moms are doing their best, just like I want everyone to think about me.  We all make mistakes, including our kids.   Enough of the sweeping judgments about "kids today".  People have been fussing about how "kids today" will function as adults since our grandparents were kids.  They handled it fine.  We are handling it fine (really, I promise!). Our kids will handle it fine.  Let's just do our best and assume that other parents are, too.  That's my new plan.  What do you guys think?

-Dana